I received an email the other day from one of my readers and it went like this:

Hi! I would like to see an article about men who are bull shi**ers. You know,
the ones that always tell a female “We’ll do this or that or we’ll go this
place or that place” but it never comes to fruition. I now make myself
unavailable for these type of bull shi**ers.

Women Dating In Florida |  Meet Ohio Single Women |  Single Georgia Girls | Oregon Women Seeking Dating | Texas Women Online | Arkansas Girls Dating

When I receive emails from women wanting me to banish all men into damnation it almost insults me. What do you think I am? A man eater? Some lonely, unloved Black woman who hates all men but secretly wants someone to love her? Not at all. Not even close. In fact I have been in a loving, healthy, committed relationship for years. I immediately know that there must be some confusion on their part. I think much like many male readers, they misconstrue my no-nonsense take on dealing with men, and loving yourself first and foremost as male bashing. You see, in no way am I a man hater, or a Black man basher for that matter. What I am is an observer. I observe the bull crap that people subscribe to and I am not afraid of calling you out on that. However, this is not limited to men only. I have called women out on their crap plenty of times. It may appear that I attack men more because I am a woman. Therefore all of my experience in romance and love have been with men only. So, dealing with the good and the bad of dating men is something that I am all too familiar with. But in no way do I want to encourage women to be bitter or hateful towards men. I do encourage that you not worship a man or make him your God. Expect to be treated as you treat him and no less.

Aside from my immediate reaction from the email, lets get to the real reason why this woman emailed me. She wanted advice. She wanted to know how to deal with a man that you know is bullshi**ing you. A man that you know is misleading you. A man that you know is lying to you, or manipulating you or the situation itself. Well, I don’t have a cure all for this. I don’t have the magic formula that can make every man straighten up and fly right with his woman. I do have a clear and concise answer to her question but it may not be one that she agrees with or is even ready to accept. Even though, she may have already figured out the answer herself.

You want to know how to deal with a man that is a bullshi**er? A man that is a liar or likes to play games with women? The answer is that you don’t. As soon as you get the impression that the man you are dating is playing games with you, you should call him out on it. See what his reaction is and how he explains himself. More than likely he will not have a very good one. As soon as you know that he is lying to you or manipulating you, you should let him know that you are aware of the games. Your next order of business in dealing with him is not to. You move the hell on. You use your God given logic. The decision to continue to deal with him is where most women slip up at. He has already showed you what he has to offer you. This will not change unless he decides he wants it to. Nothing you do will alter that.

If you don’t like the way he is treating you then, you don’t deal with him. You let him go. You stop giving him your energy, time, body, attention. I know this is sometimes easier said than done, but if you really want to end the constant cycle of feeling like you are being misused by men then it starts with you ladies. Not with the men. They only do to us what we allow them to. If we let them know that we are expectant of a certain type of treatment and refuse to budge on that then they have one of two options. They either can decide that you are not worth the trouble and stop dealing with you. Or they will get with the program and treat you the way you desire.

Being treated the way you desire is not a mystifying action. It only escapes so many women because we allow fear of being alone, or losing the man to another woman take over. In doing this we say to them:

Hello,

I love you more than I love myself. Please feel free to mistreat me as often as you would like. I will stick around because I am in desperate need for your love.

Signed Regular Broad

You see ladies, you decide how you want to be treated and you are the one that must assure that the man you ALLOW into your life is going to adhere to that type of treatment. You are the final decision maker and not him. The only thing you have control over is you. You cannot make any one do anything. But you can make a decision about what you desire and what you don’t. It is really that simple.